We Also Did This For Our Middle School Crush
by The Scene on January 15th, 2009
With his inauguration imminent, Barry Obammy is the best American thing since sliced bread (surrounding two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun). Being the hottest ticket in international affairs, naturally all the other world leaders want to get close to him. Canada, which is rightly convinced that acting on the world stage is the same as being in High School (this is correct), has decided that the best way to let Obama know that they not only like him but like like him, is to make the incoming President a mixtape of music by Canadian artists and they’re letting people on the intertoobs vote on which songs should be included. This is obviously a mistake becasue it’s the same internet that brought you Chocolate Rain and Hamster on a Piano. We’re pretty sure the list doesn’t even include Celiene Dion! We’d suggest “If I Had $1,000,000″ by the Barenaked Ladies to lend a hand with the bailout or show our shared commitment to “Democracy” by Lenoard Cohen. Although the correct answer is clearly Rush’s “Closer To the Heart”.
Four More Years!
by The Scene on August 20th, 2008
We think that most political ads share a fundamental problem: they’re all way too sincere. It’s 2008, people! There are cloned sheep and microwaveable bacon now, yet most political ads haven’t progressed past the my candidate=good, your candidate=bad paradigm established back in the dark ages. The best ever political TV spot is clearly “Nixon Now” (with “Monkey Drinking His Own Urine” coming in a close second) but the good people over at Punditfish have created a pretty stellar ad for Obama using that dominant mode of discourse of our time: irony.
(Damn, dirty next-door kids keep him up at night with incessant “Nintendo-gaming”)
by The Scene on July 31st, 2008
Ted Stevens, the 84-year-old GOP senator from Alaska, is being charged with corruption on the basis that he’s taking bribes from oil company VECO. Previous successes for the senator have included millions upon millions of dollars invested in a bridge to nowhere, a bill banning centaurs from his front porch, and being older than a pile of dirt.
Which begs the question, do you think the Justice Dept notified him of their charges via a series of tubes? 
Question
by The Scene on June 5th, 2008
Why do 80% of Americans hate freedom?
We Think The Real Question Is
by The Scene on April 25th, 2008
In the spirit of fairness and all.
When will John McCain renounce Pauley Shore? Bio-Dome was offensive just plain awful. McCain has a racial responsibility to reject and denounce not only that movie, but the entire genre of Pauley Shore movies.
Although there is a Tenacious D cameo in Bio-Dome, so McCain only has to reject or denounce the film, not both.
Luckily There’s A Sale Down At Folding Chair Freddy’s Used Folding Chair and Hydrochloric Acid Warehouse
by The Scene on April 23rd, 2008
When we said earlier that his coverage of the Democratic primary made us want to “bludgeon Chris Matthews to death with a folding chair,” we were merely being rhetorical. However, when we saw this we realized that out desire to beat the living crap out of the cable TV host was now quite literal.
We know that it’s probably some kind of huge insight into Obama’s character that he wanted elitist OJ instead of down-home-backwoods-bumblefuck coffee but please, please, please, please we beg you, stop. Stop. Please stop. True, there’s nothing really happening on the campaign trail at the moment and you need something to talk about but, holy living fuck, stop.
When you cover stupid, trivial bullshit 24/7 people start to think that this is what campaign coverage is supposed to look like and then no one will even try to cover substantive issues anymore and will instead solely focus on stupid bullshit like this because it fits your pre-conceived narratives, making your job just that much easier. We are well aware that, more than anything else, more than any liberal or conservative bias, you’re really just incredibly lazy and coving insipid gossip is the easiest thing the world but please, for the sake of everything that is good and important about the American political system, just please stop.
Or else we’ll have to bludgeon you to death with a folding chair.
An Now For Another Edition Of
by The Scene on April 18th, 2008
He’s Such A Maverick That He Goes Against Eveything He Used To Say Or Beleive
by The Scene on April 15th, 2008
NY Times:
Mr. McCain, who made no mention of his previous pledge to balance the budget by the end of his first term, outlined a long list of tax cuts he favored in the speech, which was delivered on the deadline for filing taxes. He called once again for making the Bush tax cuts, which he voted against, permanent, and for cutting corporate taxes, phasing out the alternative minimum tax and doubling the value of exemptions for each dependent to $7,000 from $3,500. He also proposed giving people the option of using a simpler, shorter tax form.
Your Liberal Media
by The Scene on April 15th, 2008
Spend all their time obsessing about “bitter-gate” and Hillary Clinton’s laugh while they give John McCain doughnuts.
Anyone for non-stop war forever all the time?