The Best Job on Earth
by The Scene on August 29th, 2008
Is THIS.
(Apologies from The Scene, as the above link now seems broken. For those interested though, it led to a Craigslist post from some guys in Chicago who were willing to pay a dude to dress like a clown and drink with them all night. No jokes, no tricks, just dress like a clown and get shit-faced.)
Truckasauras…
by The Scene on August 27th, 2008
…Has our new favorite music video. Passable 8-bit electronic sounds that make me feel like I’m playing a Nintendo game in which I can simultaneously throw a grenade while eating a leg of beef I found on the ground to regain my health. It’s been done to death? Yeah, and it ain’t shaking our world musically anytime soon, it’s just well made.
The important thing however, as shown by this video for their single “Fak !!“, is Hulk Hogen. Oh, and Emilio Estevez.
Rules For The HIllary Clinton Speech Drinking Game
by The Scene on August 26th, 2008
Drink every time Hillary:
- Says "historic"
- Gives Obama a backhanded compliment
- Makes a subtle reference to the obligation the Democratic rank-and-file have to keep giving her money so she can pay down her campaign debt.
- Calls Barack her "friend" but obviously doesn’t mean it.
- Says "we put 16 million cracks in it"
- Makes you think about how awesome it is that Mark Penn and Howard Wolfson aren’t planning the convention.
- Takes a shot of whiskey
Drink every time a commentator:
- Says something nice about Hillary without also mentioning that they worked in the Clinton Administration
- Says "newness" when what they really mean is "black"
- Insists that everything that happens is good for John McCain
- Is clearly drunk
Twelve Things We Learned At Outside Lands
by The Scene on August 26th, 2008
1. If you put on a festival for 60,000 people, it is totally fine not to
offer a single parking space. Not one.
2. OMFG, Radiohead!
3. There is a fairly decent chance that watching Bon Iver will make you cry. Don’t fell bad, there’s nothing you can do about it.
4. Nels Kline is such an amazing guitarist that he makes everyone he’s
on stage with at any given moment look like a rank amateur. This is
all the more impressive given that the people he is on stage with are the rest of Wilco.
5. Regina Spector has a new song about how her favorite thing about
being an adult is that you can just pick cool looking things off the
street while you’re walking by yourself and no one can get you in
trouble for getting your hands dirty. This was easily the most honest
statement we heard all weekend.
6. Primus still sucks.
7. The lead singer of the Drive-By Truckers got blackout drunk the
night before he played the festival and wanted to thank anyone that
gave him booze or drugs the previous day, he can’t remember specifics.
8. Given a long enough timeline, everyone eventually becomes okay with paying $6 for a Churro.
9. Every large public event from now on should have valet bike
parking. No exceptions.
10. Radiohead was selling t-shirts made out of recycled plastic
bottles. Each shirt was a special unique print different from every
other one made. They were selling them for $35. This is how
Radiohead wins.
11. The Microsoft "Crowdfire" tent was the most depressing thing ever.
No matter how "Xtreme" they try to make it, we’re still going to pass
on Windows Vista.
12. We’re pretty sure that limbo is just a Tom Petty concert that never ends. It’s not bad, but it’s not all that great either. Although the constant crying of millions of unbaptised babies would probably get pretty unbearable.
You Heard It Here First
by The Scene on August 21st, 2008
Obama picks his vice president!
Four More Years!
by The Scene on August 20th, 2008
We think that most political ads share a fundamental problem: they’re all way too sincere. It’s 2008, people! There are cloned sheep and microwaveable bacon now, yet most political ads haven’t progressed past the my candidate=good, your candidate=bad paradigm established back in the dark ages. The best ever political TV spot is clearly “Nixon Now” (with “Monkey Drinking His Own Urine” coming in a close second) but the good people over at Punditfish have created a pretty stellar ad for Obama using that dominant mode of discourse of our time: irony.
Everything That Happens
by The Scene on August 19th, 2008
The Byrne/Eno Collabo 2.0, Everything That Happens Will Happen Today, is now streaming live here. We’re still in the process of digesting it but it’s abundantly clear that this is easily one of the best things we’ve heard all year.
This is our way of saying that, at this very moment, there is nothing more urgent for you to do than to listen to this album, end to end, right now.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
by The Scene on August 16th, 2008
Oh wow. We can’t tell if this is pathetic or hilarious. Is there a word that means both pathetic and hilarious at the same time? Is it “Kevin Farley”? What about
“Kelsey Grammer”?
The mind reels.
Tucker Max
by The Scene on August 8th, 2008
For the past week or so Gawker has been putting forth a whole bunch of effort attempting (and succeeding) to tear Professional Douchebag Tucker Max a new asshole by way of making fun of his god-awful movie script. This reminded us of the time we met Tucker Max and were fairly perplexed by the whole phenomenon.
A few years ago, Tucker came to to speak at the institution of higher education we were currently attending. He was brought by, we think, the ACLU as a part of some program to get apathetic college students to care about free speech issues. We went expecting a Larry Flynt-style extolation of the First Amendment but it was mostly just Tucker genially talking about his life story and going off on pointless tangents about personal grudges and feuds he was having with various people none of us had ever heard of.
At the end of his talk he said he was going to go out drinking at a bar near campus if anyone wanted to join him. It was a Monday but we we’re down to drink because we were Sociology majors and doing homework wasn’t something we were all that concerned with. We ended up hanging out with Tucker for a couple hours and he seemed like a fairly average, if highly ambitions, frat-bro with an uncanny ability to steer any conversation, no matter what the subject, back onto himself. He talked about a TV show he was in the process of creating and, after it started running, manufacturing a false feud between himself and the actor portraying his character. He seemed like he knew what he was talking about.
After a couple hours of light drinking he slipped off back to his hotel but there was a really interesting and perplexing phenomenon at work: there were seven or eight girls at the bar in the group of people hanging out with Tucker, and every one of them was trying their damnedest throw themselves at him. This is a guy who has made a career out of treating the women he hooks up with like absolute shit but, lo and behold, here are a whole gang of ladies (of the female persuasion) trying to get into one of his stories. Was it an instance of wishful star-fucking? The age-old tale of girls going for the asshole? Axe body spray? Question mark? Any help?